Stress

I realized it’s been a while since I’ve written.  Things have been a little stressful around here.  My husband was laid off, unfortunately he is the only income earner in our household.  We are fortunate that we are both savers so we have some savings and his severance.  But that will only last so long and with a new baby on the way it makes it very difficult to remain positive.  I’m continuing to look for a job but I have to admit that I’m only really applying to jobs that I would really want as I know me chances of being hired at this stage are really low – and I can’t blame them, who wants the lady who’s 27 weeks pregnant.

It’s weird with my husband being off – it means both of us are home together all the time.  Overall it hasn’t been to bad – but I know my husband is worried and stressed about finding a job.  I feel badly for him as I know he is a great worker and would be an asset to any company but like me he doesn’t interview well.  It’s so frustrating when you know your stuff but can’t seem to convey it properly.  And I’m terrified this is going to happen to me during my thesis defence.  I’ve reached the stage where I try to tell myself I don’t care – but that’s a lie – I do.  I’ve spent 7 years working on this and although I lost lots of time on personal stuff it still is a big chunk of time.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I was working – but since I spend most of my time at home with my son it feels like all that education is going to waste.  I love my son (and spending time with him – it is amazing watching him discover the world) but I do miss going into school and having adult conversations with people and some time to myself.

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How much is too much

My thesis defence date is set so I’m almost done degree number 4 – but it’s made me think, how much is too much education?  I’ve been looking for a job for a few months now and I admit I could be trying harder but I’ve only had one interview, and at the time I wasn’t obviously pregnant which is definitely not the case now.

I have tons of education but not much actual experience and I’m too old for any internship or the types of programs to help new grads.  Plus the years – almost 7 – spent trying to get a PhD and finishing with a M.A.Sc. will only hurt, but I do have good excuses – some good: I got married, had a son (which included a year of leave from the PhD) and some not so good: my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and died, I found out I have a genetic mutation which increases my risk of breast cancer significantly, and I made the choice to terminate a pregnancy due to trisomy 18.  In addition, I’d also be significantly older than most looking for an entry level position and that’s what I’d qualify for.  I’m not looking to make lots of money, I just want to get my foot in the door somewhere – but how to get that across with out seeming desperate?