My mom likes to tell the story of when my sister and I were younger that although I never showed any indication that I wanted children my sister would announce that she wanted 20 children. As we grew we never really played with dolls – our cat (poor thing) wore the Cabbage Patch Doll clothes way more than any doll and my sister eventually decided that she didn’t want any children. She decided that she would be happy to marry (or be with) someone who already had children but she didn’t want any of her own and she was great with children. It used to make me laugh when she would talk about recess at her school (the teachers would rotate through different areas) and she would complain about the little kids coming up and giving her hugs and holding her hands, but she always did it – she would have been an awesome aunt and I’m so sorry that my children never got the chance to meet her. But what I wanted to say is that unlike many people I never had a burning desire to be a mom – I guess I thought it would happen someday but I wasn’t planing the nursery or buying things for any potential children. I also knew I wanted to be married before I had children – I know it doesn’t really make a difference but it was important to me. Then I met K and decided that yes I could have children with this man.
My sister with our VERY tolerant cat, she didn’t really like any of it (particularly the pants when we stuffed her tail down the leg), but was a good sport about it.
Having children is hard – it’s wonderful but hard. I miss being able to leave the house when I want, without having to plan the logistics of everything. But when M looks up at me with a big smile or E reaches up to touch my face it seems more than worth it. I look at them and sometimes wish we could have more but sometimes I wish it was just my husband and I again. I guess I’m thinking more about this because I have meetings now scheduled with the Drs. for my mastectomy and ovary removal – so no more children for sure. It’s one thing to KNOW it’s the best thing for you and your family but another to be faced with the actual fact – although it will probably be a while before the surgeries.
Baby girl is now 6 months! She had her 6 month check today and continues to be an average baby – as my husband pointed out it makes buying clothes very easy. Although her head is in the 70th percentile, it looks average to us – M’s head is massive, always been over the 90th percentile.
I know that every kid if different, but it always surprises me with how different my babies have been. E LOVES toys, she will grab at anything, regularly looks like she’s trying to smother herself with any blanket like material, loves her soother and loves interacting with people. M couldn’t care less about all the wonderful toys he received – in fact they are now getting more attention from him now that E is using them than he ever showed when he was her age – he only really started using blankets when he was 2, and liked it when people payed attention to him but didn’t start crying if he was ignored for a short time.
E’s newest habit is petting and grabbing my husband’s beard, she is getting quite the grip!
She has also started drooling A LOT, everyone asks if she’s teething but if she’s anything like her brother we have months of drooling (and sticking absolutely everything in her mouth) before all the teeth seem to come in at once.
She has started solids and is a very messy eater – she grabs the spoon and tries to chew on it, unfortunately she usually grabs the bowl of the spoon which makes it even messier. She is not a fan of peas.
So I made a mistake – I didn’t give my baby a bottle. I can hear some gasps from here – I do like breastfeeding and up until recently that is all that E got. But I’m scheduled to meet the surgeon at the end of the month to get my breasts removed and I plan to have the surgery as soon as possible. This means weaning E which she doesn’t appear to agree with. We tried a few types of bottles and nipples and this resulted in a screaming baby – who I declared the winner and gave her the boob. So my mom bought me a (expensive) Comoto bottle, which actually seemed to work for a few feeding but I think she’s caught on and now she screams at it as well. I mean the bottles are currently full of breastmilk – I wanted to be sure that she would actually take a bottle before we try the formula – but it doesn’t matter.
So if anyone has some suggestions for getting a reluctant baby to take a bottle I would appreciate it. We have tried getting a few different people to try and feed her, the milk warm and cold, the nipple itself heated, moving while feeding (she at least wasn’t screaming while I did this but was moving around looking at everything that I couldn’t keep the nipple in her mouth and when I succeeded she started crying), when she is hungry and an hour before she normally eats.
So M sometimes is the definition of the terrible two’s, but some days he does things that make me smile:
- he now wakes up and starts cock-a-doodling until someone goes to get him
- he runs up the stairs and for some reason if I’m carrying E behind him this makes her giggle
- he can count to ten – but often skips numbers
- his idea of hide and go seek is to jump out at you when it is your turn to seek and then when it’s your turn to hide he tells you where to go
- When he does poop in his potty – M announces he has made a snake
- M announced that Mommy doesn’t need to grow a bread like Daddy
And just be being himself he makes me happy.